NaPoWriMo Day 23: Yes, I'm Incorrigible

A Stick and a String

You know you’ll miss the shot you never took

So take the leap, the plunge toward the unknown

I thought that I could read you like a book

But words I couldn’t hear were stick and stone.

You’ve got to make your own stuff work, I said

This messy pile of taped together junk.

The more I look, the more I’ve found misread

By me, yours truly, this embittered chunk

Of fraying hopes left rusting on the vine.

You turned away—I didn’t take the shot.

The ledger, red and dripping, wasn’t mine

My debts to you were merely afterthought

So what’s the use of wond’ring where to go?

I’ll carry on—the one skill that I know.

Once again, I was challenged to write a sonnet. Because of who I am as a person, I wrote it about one Clint Barton, the Hawkguy we know and love.

NaPoWriMo Day 21: Storytime

Solid Ground
My family took my voice
long before any sea-witch offered.
The song that reached their ears
from my lips was their own.


If the ocean was my oyster,
I a pearl from a grain of sand,
then my world was no larger
than the margins of that speckled shell.


Age equaled freedom
five sisters equaled five years
biding time amongst the barnacles.

But every crumb of gossip
collected from their
table
did not prepare me for anything.


The sky as wide as childhood
crushing down on the roof
of my ocean, the rough grain
of wind across my salt-smoothed cheek
and the queer vessels of men
which move only forward, only back
and I marveled at their
lack of dimensions.

They will say it was
the prince
that stole me away from my watery home.

When they write my story
it will tell of how my eyes
found his face, his broad
archetypal form
and felt the stirrings of love in
my gut
Tendrils of longing
snaking through my limbs
like strands of kelp

What churned up love like silt
in the river of my mind
was the lure of a world
that could be mine
apart from the weight
of family

What I longed for
was brittle and sweet
the push and pull
of gravity and earth
As I danced in my shoes of
blood and steel
I laughed—
     a laugh in silence
     which was only my own

Okay okay, technically this is a rework of a poem I wrote about 5 (FIVE???) years ago in a poetry class in university, but it fit the fairytale prompt and I think a rewrite is okay once in a while. Plus I'm super proud of it. :D

NaPoWriMo Day 20: Consider the Following

Perspective

Consider this:

There are stars, in some faraway galaxy

Burned out and beaming still

Into our eyes on august nights

When the breeze rustles the brown grass

And still, I fret over nonsense things

a spilled glass of water, a misplaced ring

and consider, please

the ocean

in whose depths the glowing stars

of curious fish twinkle and glow

what unexplored vastness lurks? Who knows

and yet, I worry over nothing—

a turn not taken, a word unsaid

but think of it, this tiny world

so vast to us, but floating there

like jellyfish waiting in the depths below

and still I stew over nothing

I don't quite feel that this is finished, but I'm not sure what else to add to it yet to so I'll send it out and fix it later. The prompt was a to start a poem with "consider this", and this thing came tumbling out rather faster than expected. Weird how writing works sometimes.

NaPoWriMo Day 19: Epistolary Disorder

Dear Anxiety,

But even that isn’t quite right,

is it, unless dear means simply

that which we hold close, never letting go, but

you are the one who insists, aren’t you?

You give such terrible advice

that I always listen to

There is something in me

that never learns.

Your face is a warped mirror, reminding me

that only the bad parts are true, that

global warming and insomnia and mosquitoes

are because of me, and your tender embrace

is so close

that I am breathless

I would dig out my heart

if I thought it would change

anything, I would evict this unwelcome tenant,

this false friend, leaving muddy footprints

on the welcome mat

I digress, anxiety—

This fool who only wrote to say

goodbye

A lie I wish I could tell

as well as you.

Sincerely,

Me

Had a prompt to write a letter to an intangible idea, such as love or beauty or honor, and I ended up going rather personal with this one. Makes me want to write about this topic more, to see if I can describe it accurately.

NaPoWriMo Day 18: Who Catches the Catcher Upper?

Language of Childhood

Keep your eyes peeled, she says,

and I am gone

combining eyes and grapes

And my grandma finds the house

on her own

What’s in the bag, goose?

She asks, and I am gone

wondering what a goose might keep in a bag

and why?

Who knows?

I ask, rhetorical

Her response: Only the shadow knows—and I am gone

picturing the shape

of a shadow’s mind

and what secrets it might hold

As I wander, imagining, I hear

Faintly

Don’t be a space cadet!

For years I believe that “cadet”

Means merely “someone who doesn’t listen”

I am gone,

Pondering the language of childhood

The prompt for this one was to use the language of childhood, and that made me think of all the weird sayings that my mom and grandma used that I never understood. What weird things does your family say?

NaPoWriMo Day 17: Many Days Late, No Dollars Short

My heart is stranded, an empty parking lot

and a flickering light, while

your eyes say a leaving I know I won’t survive

There are places where everything changes; others where everything stops

finding the difference

is critical

We met in a summer classroom

weeks behind, wondering

where the teachers had gone

Our footsteps echoing

Right place, wrong time

Right wrong, place time

Or was it the other way around?

I leave you these things that are inessential

A heart, a memory, a playground at night

I am lighter, drifting

       floating away

                  like dandelion seeds in the breeze

I am. So. Behind. I got sick and it just sapped all the strength and creativity out of me. I was just trying to Not Die From The Cold Of Death so anything above basic survival was noooot gonna happen.

NaPoWriMo Day 16: On Location

I Took A Ferry

Softly lapping waves
Cherry blossoms fall slowly
On Nami Island

Wrote this one while on a little day trip to an island. Instahaiku.

NaPoWriMo Day 15: Here We Are

Relationship History

I showed them the ocean

And they asked

Is that all there is?

They showed me a puddle

And I asked

For nothing more.

I dunno man. Here's the 15th poem. Bit pithy but it's better than nothing, yeah?

NaPoWriMo Day 14: Multiple Definition Disorder

Surfacing

It is unspeakable, how easily one might be deceived

by memory

this ghastly bare mound of cinders

juvenile and absurd

looming large in the middle distance of the mind

We believed, then, it was possible

to cleave hated parts and leave only

green and growing, a careful butcher

who failed to read

the second definition

A coincidence, but it’s curious

our imperfect nature finding patterns

in streetlights and weather forecasts

Are we ever as much changed

without as within?

A smile is nothing but

teeth made approachable

A siren on the horizon;

pull the wax from your ears, listen—

it is only the sound of forgetting

I'm super into words that have multiple and confusing meanings, and cleave is one of my favorites, as it can be two almost entirely opposite things. Language!

NaPoWriMo Day 13: Fortunate Cookies

You already know the answer to the questions lingering inside your head

The man on top of the mountain did not fall there

So I, this contradiction of will and water

aust find another way

My high-minded principles spell success, yes

But my low-minded opinions spell

the sorts of things

a lady shouldn’t know

Change can hurt, but it leads a path to something better, he says

watching rocks tumble tremble, trip gaily down the sloping sides

I guess I never liked that tree, but

this wanton destruction seems…

Anyway, land is always on the mind of a flying bird

Sky is always on the mind

of a creature so root-bound as I

But even rocks can fly, given

the right momentum

The challenge for this day was to use fortune cookie fortunes in some way, so I looked up a bunch and sprinkled them through my own writing. Even the title is lifted directly from a fortune cookie! Also I know I'm horribly behind, so expect a lot of frantically written poems over the next couple days.

NaPoWriMo Day 12: Poetry (I, too, dislike it)

A coastal spring day

Couple’s clothes and blossoms both

Share their light pink hue

A four-person bike

Children safe between parents

Only dad pedals

I dunno man I didn't have any juice today. Have a couple haiku.

NaPoWriMo Day 11: I've Always Been Jealous of Places With Nice Beaches

From a Log at North Beach in January

Here is the sand under my fingertips

Sharp grains like gourmet pepper

In every color of gray

The wind rotten fish and drying seaweed

Cold salt and wet sour tang

Above me, the gray-blue sky falling to meet blue-gray sea

A single seagull floats, balanced on air

While sand fleas pop out from under driftwood

Like so many frozen snakes

Where did my life go wrong?

This was a fun prompt! We were told to write "a poem in which you closely describe an object or place, and then end with a much more abstract line that doesn’t seemingly have anything to do with that place", such as this wonderful poem by James Wright. I miss the beach.

NaPoWriMo Day 10: Never Say Never

20/20 In Hindsight

I never wanted to say I love you

But then, if I put together

All the things I never meant to do

Stacking one on another like

A babel tower of regret

It would reach

The lower atmosphere

I never meant to leave you

But then, there were all those words

Falling out of our mouths like

So many diamonds

Sharp and bright and

In reality

Worthless

I never tried to forget the way

You looked at me

Like I was something better

But then, the truth is

I never was

And saying something

Doesn’t make it real

I never thought I’d be here now

But then, a firecracker

Will always work best from a rooftop

We packed our hearts

Too close, too tight

Fireworks are fine, and bright

But only when it’s dark

I never asked for what you gave me

But then, that never stopped you

Did it?

I'm not totally happy with the ending here, so I'll probably workshop it later, but I just fell in love with "a babel tower of regret" so I decided to go with it.

NaPoWriMo Day 9: Incorrect Definitions

Safe

No one really dies

In the movies

A book is safe

Because

It is a time machine

I took a walk when

My teacher died, the

Shock

Of a long-expected phone call

Took a plane when

My grandma died

He said “Should I come?” I said

“I’m okay.”

I take

Shots

When I remember everyone else

Anger is domesticated

A carnivore

Kept close to our hearts

Sleek muscle under

Soft fur

I took a plane

That succession of

Images

Flashing behind my eyes

While I failed to sleep

Ages ago I found this website that mixed and matched words and definitions, so you'd end up with something like "Literature: to clasp tightly in the arms, especially with affection; embrace." So I read through a bunch until they inspired me. Dunno, not super happy with this one, but you do what you gotta do.

NaPoWriMo Day 8: Marvel-ous Sonnets

I Dreamt I Was

I dreamt I was asleep within your heart

Within those beating caverns made my home

Yet as I slept, the stutter stop and start

Awoke me, and my thoughts began to roam

To visions of a city, standing tall

A suit of armor wrapped around the world

But who are we, just humans, standing small

Among the wreckage, fingers clenched and curled

           Of us, what final story will be told?

           I pray that fortune does favor the bold. 

I have a bad habit of writing sonnets about nerdy things, though I do hope that this stands up even if you don't understand that reference. Sonnets are weird, because while I don't generally enjoy reading them, I love the challenge of writing them. Honestly, I did break the rules a bit, leaving out the third set of rhymes, but the thing just felt finished so I went with it. I think poems with a strict format are good to try once in a while, because they force you think outside of your comfort zone.

NaPoWriMo Day 7: Word Games

Return

The trees are stretching arms above the road
These too-familiar turnings let me dream
Adrift in thoughts that never make a sound

Above glass beach I hear the Puget Sound
The crashing waves that once were called whale’s road
And wonder if a fish can ever dream

From autumn wind, the sky becomes a dream
While naked branches dance, mad with the sound
Of raindrops pelting gently on the road

In dream, I run along the road—with silent steps that never leave a sound.

This one was, surprisingly, not as difficult as I'd anticipated. It's a variation on the sestina, a tritina, which uses a set of repeating words and usually iambic pentameter. Apparently all I write about these days is my hometown, the good old Northwest US of A. Plus, it gave me a chance to be sneaky about my 3rd word. :3

NaPoWriMo Day 6: Magic Berries

On The Making of Magic Pies

For Julia

In summer

when grass dries golden as blonde-bleached hair

she departs

buckets and baskets in hand

for the woods

Under branching roofs

of fir and pine, the day keeps cool

even now

as she walks the secret paths

in search of berries

They run wild

Small cousins to brash Himalayans

The wild blackberries

of summer

She returns brimming

Sun-dappled and smelling of juice

This is when

the spell begins

First, the necessary tools

A pale pink bowl, pastry cutter

and rolling mat

Close your eyes, and smell

the dusty warmth of flour

that puffs

into that afternoon beam of sunlight

Fingertip alchemy

Unpalatable elements, transformed

to smooth dough

and burnished berries

Then, the final step—the oven

barely hotter than the summer sun

She waits

Timer ticking down to when

the spell is complete

In summer

When afternoons stretch as wide as the sea

She gathers and bakes

Filling the house

with the smell

of magic 

My stepmom Julia has always made the most amazing pies, and wild blackberry is the best of the best. I've always admired the ritual of picking berries and making pies, so when the NaPoWriMo site suggested that day 6 be a poem about food, this was the first thing that sprang to mind.

source

NaPoWriMo Day 5: Unwanted Proposals

Go On, Just Ask

“What if I…”

His hand, so much larger than mine—so much

Everything about him was more

A too-hot day, a jewelry stand

Beetle-bright threadbare velvet and

a nondescript ring

we cared about for different reasons

“If I…”

Even in memory, I am

shrinking

Thinking I was a candle

and him a flame

Such violent calm

that moved

a bit of silver and tarnish

from safe ring finger

to danger

There, in that moment, I knew

In that moment

I saw a road

Stretching

I saw

The chapters

delineate like bars

Tears came only

to wash my eyes

“Will you…”

Words hung out to dry

and I

left them

I had never learned

how to fold

Not sure if this works but....here it is! Writing was a struggle and a half today, since I'm exhausted and doped up on allergy medicine. Hurray?

NaPoWriMo Day 4: Cobbling it Together

"Mummified Body of Former Playboy Playmate Yvette Vickers Found in Her Benedict Canyon Home"

Nobody knows exactly how old she was when she died
She lay for the better part of a year
among
cobwebs and yellowing letters
laptop glow permeating the empty space

We must invite loneliness
come in, we say
obligatorily gregarious
a vampire no cross can scare

We become an accelerating contradiction
broader, shallower
vast beyond imagination
incomprehensible
Small enough
to fit in a palm
a pocket
a purse

Instant and absolute communication
yet
preserved in amber
our words, no longer wind
freeze, crystalized on our tongues

"How often do you feel...?"
Fill in your own blanks
Still hungering for response
with a patience I don't possess

Loneliness is slippery
Its mechanisms
forcing our inaction

This mess of human interaction—
a tree-framed bit of skyline
whose profundity we had
underestimated

a room with a small space heater still on
“…I’m your biggest fan, I’d be so touched by your…”
she lay for the better part of a year
incomprehensible
laptop glow permeating
the empty

space

I was reading through some articles I once had to read for English class and I came across Is Facebook Making Us Lonely, and for some reason decided to do a sort of found poem out of it. I first just highlighted any words or phrases that stood out for me, then assembled them in a word document and went to town, rearranging and adding in my own words and thoughts. It's a fun practice!

NaPoWriMo Day 3: Questionable Line Breaks

Small Town

it’s late nights, cold

right though your coats

rubber soles on pavement

pave a heartbeat

scrub a phone number from your arm

and sit on black swings

until you lose feeling

until you lose feeling in your—

ass is what you should think

of him

shouldn’t you?

it’s never August sunshine, particular

color, feel, like dry grass

under your back

like knowing something for sure

the way children know

everything

it’s backseats and backyards and backwards

like missing a train

by one untied shoelace

it’s finally remembering

adventures don’t happen

until you leave home

The last thing you want, but

first thing you need

is perspective

I'm doing my best to get caught up, and once again I didn't follow the prompt. Ah well. Guess I'm a rebel. 

NaPoWriMo Day 2: Thinking of Snow

From an Empty Office in Winter

The day slipping down to slow motion

a blanket statement of snow

barely a whisper under this winter sun

All light and no heat

A smile that doesn’t reach the eyes

Each hour as long as a middle school summer

Stretching out golden and warm

With no context of ending

Or beginning

I was thinking of times stuck indoors, with the heater blasting and no deadlines. I didn't end up doing the prompt for this one, as I wasn't really interested in writing about my family.

NaPoWriMo Day 1: A Lune in the Mountains

Unlikely Stairs

Every day but one

was sunny

Guess which one I chose?

Fog or smog, is there

much difference

when the flowers bloom?

Steps taken toward sky

Weary legs

carry me up, up

To hidden places.

Lake below,

gray sky high above

Dark stone, bright walls—

our journey to

Jeongbangsa Temple

I was given a prompt to write a poem called a "lune", which is similar to the 5-7-5 syllable pattern of a haiku. A lune, however, can be 5-3-5 syllables or words. As you can tell, I went for syllable count.

Bonus: photos from my recent hike that inspired this. 

Time to take the Nah out of NaPoWriMo!

It's beginning to feel that every time I post I have to start with an apology for being gone so long. At this point, is there really a...point? Does anyone really expect me to stick to a schedule, when I've never proven myself able to do such a thing? This distracting sidetracking is why I never get anything written, no doubt.

It's been a weird few months. I'm in a rut, just auto-piloting between school and work and work and Korean class and school. I know something needs to change in my life, but until I'm absolutely sure what it is, I don't want to do anything big. Hell, I'm even keeping myself from cutting my hair or changing the color drastically, which is a big step for me.

So, to give myself a bit of a project with which to drag myself out of this hole of apathy I've dug myself into, I'm going to do National Poetry Writing Month, or NaPoWriMo! I've always been envious of my friends doing NaNoWriMo since novels are just...not my thing, and while NaPoWriMo isn't nearly as big as it's older cousin, I think it'll be a good exercise.

So, you can look forward to a month of my scribblings and scratchings.

Happy April!