Some Things Never Change

One of the most amusing things about teaching middle school is the constant marriage proposals and date invitations I get from my boys. Today was the first day back after vacation, and within minutes of walking out of my office, the barrage began.


Student 1: Teacher! When we together date?
Me: Sorry, it's impossible
Student 1: I am so angry! My heart is devil.

Student 2: Teacher! Marry me!
Me: Why?
Student: Teacher very pretty.
Me: Sorry, I can't.

Student 3: Mother fucker!

He suddenly noticed I was there, and after looking scared for a moment, put his arm around his friend and, as they walked off down the hall, continued to call out "Mother friend! Mother friend!"

~later~

Student 4: Teacher! Please marry me.
Me: I can't. You are too young.
Student 4: No, no, not young. Please.
Me: Okay, fine. When?
Student 4: Tomorrow.
Me: Awesome. Where?
Student 4: The school!
Me: Great! See you tomorrow!

Student 2: Teacher! Please! Me too!
Me: Fine...okay.
Student 2: Okay!!
Me: Where is the ring?
Student: I will bring tomorrow.

And that's the story of how I gained 2 younger husbands.

Weekly Quote Collection: Shaking my Sausage

My students are constantly saying either hilarious or amazing things, so I'm going to start posting highlights here on a weekly basis. This week was...quite the week.

During a 1st year class:

"Teacher! I'm shaking my sausage every day!"

"Me too teacher! I'm very long sausage!"

Someone had taught them the term "johnson" as well, so there were plenty such jokes as well. Another boy came up to me to ask "Teacher, what is 'Johnson'?" I managed to choke out, while trying to hide my laughter "It's...a boy has..."

"Ah, okay okay. Thank you teacher."

I accidentally wore burgundy tights and a red coat and an orangey scarf today, so the comments about my color choices were common. The best, though, happened during my last class of the day today.

First, I was compared to Christmas. Then a tree with autumn leaves. Once I was compared to Iron Man, I knew I had to get things under control. Off came the coat, but my problems weren't over. My dress today has pretty structured shoulders, so the moment my coat came off I heard the words.

"Oh! Teacher! Vegeta! Dragon ball!"

I just can't win.

Bonus points if you photoshop my face onto a picture of Vegeta.

Daily Snapshot: sister, teacher, mother...brother?

There's all sorts of classes, but my favorites are the ones who share my dumb sense of humor, the ones I can laugh and joke with. A great example happened just recently, in my 2nd period 2nd grade class.

We were playing a game in teams, where each team had a mixed up sentence on strips of paper to rearrange into a correct sentence. First 3 teams to finish got points, so the pressure was really on. However, it's really hard to keep track of which team raises their hand first, so...things get a bit silly.

For instance, in the third round, team 4 was convinced, and I mean CONVINCED that they had been the second team to finish. As I'm scanning the crowd, consulting with my coteacher, I suddenly hear the piercing cry of a middle school student in the wild.

"언니!! Unnie! Unnieeeeeee!" 

언니 means big sister, but it's the word that a girl would call her big sister, so naturally I was looking for a girl as the source of the whining. But not. It was one of my boys, a bit of a joker, but not a bad kid. 

"언니! Please! Our team...finish!"

I have to admit, being called big sister maaaaay have influenced my scoring. Maybe. Look, we're still trying to get over Yuna Kim taking second place, why can't I mess with the scores in my English class? I am a...benevolent dictator? 

Anyways, as the class moves on, he keeps calling me 언니, so I finally ask him.

"Why 언니? Why not 누나 (noona (what a boy calls a big sister))?"

"Because...um...I am girl."

"Haha, okay. My pretty younger sister."

So again the class progresses. My comment must have gotten through to him, though, because the next time I walk near his desk, I hear a cry of "Noonaaaaa~~"

"Ah, I'm noona now?"

"Yes. Ana-noona~ Very pretty. Please...one ticket!" Side note: I use a lottery system for prizes in my class, hence him wanting a ticket.

Little charmer. Though it is a bit disheartening that I never get a compliment without being asked for something.

Again class progresses. The activity involved asking you friends and recording their answers, so once again this kid comes to me.

"언니~ How long does it take to walk to school?"
"It takes about 15 minutes."
He wrote down my answer and '언니 as my name.
"Okay...Noona! How long does it take to..."
Again, I answered and he wrote a different name. He proceeded to ask me three more times, once as hyung (older brother), once as teacher, and once as mom.

Needless to say, I was really confused about my identity by the end of the class.