Why I Hate the Word "Diet"

"Are you on a diet?"

I am so incredibly mind-numbingly sick of this question. Don't get me wrong, I don't always hate the word diet. "These ancient peoples ate a diet consisting of..." is totally fine. "There should be lots of vegetables and hot sauce in your diet for health!" also gets past my censors. But that question. It eats away at me (if you'll pardon the accidental pun).

Before I moved to Korea, I don't remember thinking about it much, but I can't say if it's due to any cultural difference or just something that's been on a slow burn that finally blew up. There are so many instances where this question comes up. for example:

-when I'm eating a salad
-when I don't take a ginormous portion of rice at lunch
-when I don't want to eat any cake that someone brought into the office
...I could go on.

Now, I can see why people might jump so such dietary conclusions. Salad is the stereotypical non-delicious diet food. Most of the Korean people I've met seem to think I'll starve to death if I don't eat a heaping portion of rice. Why wouldn't a person want to eat cake? Well, I love salad, I'm not too impressed by plain white rice, and when it comes to cake, well, thanks to practically growing up in a bakery owned by my mom, I'm an INCREDIBLY picky cake eater. There, you see? It's never because I'm on a diet.

Except that, in a way, it totally is. I want to lose some weight. I want to be more healthy. So, why do I hate the question?

I think it's because the idea of "diet" or "to go on a diet" to me means something temporary, something you do for a while and then go back to eating pizza for breakfast. It's a means to a specific weight-loss end rather than an end in itself. Diet to me sounds like a crash diet, a fad diet, like eating only grapefruit and lemon water until you've starved off the pounds, only to gain them right back the second you go back to "normal" eating.

The other thing that bothers me is the dichotomy between enjoyable foods and foods you only eat because they're healthy. It creates this feeling that vegetables are a punishment and cake is a prize, and I don't think that's good for anyone. Now, I love pizza as much as the next person, but I enjoy fresh fruits and veggies just as much, even though that sounds crazy.

Treating food as a prize and punishment system doesn't seem like a good tool for being healthy. If I eat "bad" food I feel guilty and can't really enjoy it, and if I eat "good" food I feel like I "deserve" to eat something bad and tend to overeat. Or, I force myself to eat something I don't find delicious (kale, raw carrots) just because I've deemed it "good". Do any of those habits sound healthy? I don't think so.

So yeah, there's my rant of the day. Do you have any similar questions that drive you insane? Am I oversensitive?

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy: Awkward Questions in Korea

I’m not the most private of people, but I was raised on the idea that there are certain topics that are accepted as taboo in casual conversations: religion, how much money you make, weight, politics, etc. Unless speaking to a close friend, I’ve always avoided these topics out of a combination of politeness and a horrible fear of insulting someone. But everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked I moved to Korea.

I’ll give some examples of questions that no longer shock me.

1. How old are you?

For children, I suppose, this question is par for the course. “I’m five and three quarters!” they will proudly proclaim. But as you get older, the question seems a bit more…personal. Especially as a woman. Now, I’m not suggesting that I’m old, but it’s hard to shake the habit of never asking a woman her age. However, in many conversations, this is the second question I have to answer, right after “Where are you from?” Knowing a person’s age in Korea is important. It colors your interactions, even changes the way you speak to each other, so I fully understand why this question is important. But still…

2. Are you married? Boyfriend? Why not?

This is one of those questions I always assumed you only asked if you were interested in someone. But since I am apparently at an age where I need to be thinking about marriage, this is the big issue on everyone’s mind. The worst part, for me, is trying to answer the “why?” part. I promise you, random taxi driver man, if I had an answer to that, I’d be a genius. On a related note…

3. What do you think of Korean men?

How do I even answer this? “…um…they’re…great…?” Somehow I can never explain to people why this is such a difficult quesiton to answer. It's like asking, "So, what do you think of food?" Though actually, my response to that question would be the same.

4. Did you lose/gain weight?

There’s a running joke in my office that anyone who stays in this office will gain weight, because people are always bringing in snacks. Yesterday, my coteacher Mr. Lee asked me if I’d gained weight. When I said that no, I’ve actually lost weight since coming to Korea, my weight became a popular office topic. When I don’t eat all my rice, someone will inevitably ask if I’m on a diet.
I’ve heard again and again that Korea is very focused on image and beauty, and I suppose that’s true; I’ve had people straight up tell me I look tired or sick, just because I didn’t do my makeup so well that day. Come to think of it, though, that happens in the US too. Maybe it’s a universal thing?

 

5. What is your religion?

Maybe this is common in some places, but I grew up in Liberal/politically correct/hippie central. Maybe, just maybe, you might be asked if you are religious (usually to clear the way for a religious joke). Even then, it seems like a bit of an awkward topic. Your religion is your own business. But since I moved to Korea? I’ve been asked multiple times, and I never quite know what to say. I’m not Christian, or Catholic, or Muslim, or any of the easy answers I could give, but I’m not an Athiest either. It’s hard to say “I believe in something bigger than myself, but I’m not sure what” when your language level is comparable to a 5-year old.

Those of you who are in Korea, any other questions you get a lot, that used to shock you but no longer do? I’m curious.