Neither Rain Nor Rain

Don't let the snazzy background fool you. I was annoyed.

That right there is the face of a survivor. Much like the USPS, neither rain, nor wind, nor rain, nor more rain...so much rain...was able to stop me. But really guys. There was so much rain.

It's been a busy couple of months, between 9 hours of Korean class every week and piles of lessons to plan for winter camp, so recently I decided to get out of Wonju for a bit and actually see those beautiful fall leaves everyone's been talking about it. So, on a Saturday, after 6 grueling hours studying Korea, I hopped in my car and set off for the lovely seaside town of Sokcho.

Naturally, I managed to choose the worst possible weekend on which to take a spontaneous trip. As I drove along the highway, the rain started to get heavier and heavier. Did I worry? Nah. I'm Pacific Northwest born and raised, so it takes something more than rain to ruin my nice drive. What kind of something?

My windshield wiper breaking. There I was, zooming along the foggy and rain-drenched highway at full speed when, in a matter of seconds, I was down to one functioning wiper. Because I'm blessed with the worst luck in the universe, that one, still-moving wiper was...of course...on the passenger side. Joy.

Fortunately, I was only a couple kilometers from a rest stop. So, I moved over into the righthand lane, leaning over to see through the half of the windshield that was still being wiped and trying not to have a panic attack.

Once safely in the parking lot, I just sat for a few minutes trying to collect myself. At this point I was more than an hour away from home, so I couldn't exactly phone-a-friend. Luckily, my windshield wiper hadn't entirely broken off and gone flying into the void as I'd previously suspected. It just had a screw...bolt...well something was loose, so at that point I figured all I needed was a wrench. In what felt like a stroke of genius, I got back into my car, wet as a drowned rat, and carefully maneuvered the car over the the gas station. Gas stations have wrenches, right?

Wrong. I pulled up and, rolling down my window, tried to explain to the perplexed 20-something manning the pumps that no, I didn't need gas, but that I was a damsel in distressing need of a wrench. He responded by telling me I needed to drive over to the next town to get it fixed at a car center. No matter how many times I explained to him how impossible that would be, the turnip-head didn't even think to look in the office for a wrench.

Finally, as I was trying to decide whether to start crying or wring his neck, a middle-aged couple pulled up next to me, so I went up to the man and showed him the issue. He spoke to the manager, and lo and behold, a wrench was found, and the offending wiper was fixed. All in all, it could have been much worse, but I was paranoid about the thing for the rest of the drive. 

I stayed the night in a cute little hotel right near the beach, with the most dramatic wallpaper, as you can see in my first picture. I was finally able to relax, eat some dinner, and hang my wet clothes up to dry.

The next day dawned...wet and rainy. Bit surprise. But I was determined! Armed with raincoat and umbrella, I braved the stormy coastline.

There's actually something enjoyable about the beach during a storm. The waves were crashing onto the beach, the wind sending spray to mix with the rain until my cheeks were salty--though the seagulls had the good sense to stay home.

A lonely spectator.

If I looked at the water through my umbrella I could almost pretend the sky was blue. Further along the beach I came across a secret little garden, and I wanted to explore, but my shoes were already soaked through at that point, so I didn't want to tramp around the wet grass.

Secret farm.

Rain and spray-soaked, I trudged up the road to get some lunch and hopefully give my shoes and chance to dry out. I always feel awkward eating alone in Korea, but the lady was really nice, and there was a hiker-gang of grandmas at the next table singing and chatting up a storm, so I got in some quality eavesdropping in while I ate.

Originally I'd planned to take a short hike on Seoraksan after lunch, but as the rain showed no sign of letting up, I elected instead to take a scenic drive. Much warmer and a lot less wetter. 

If you ever have a chance to visit Seoraksan, it's well worth your time. It does get pretty icy in winter, though, so be sure to wear correct footwear! I nearly slid off the edge of a cliff the first time I hiked there. At least I got to keep a fantastically large bruise as a souvenir!

I think it's important to get out of routines every once in a while. I get so caught up in day to day living, studying and working and stressing. Just one day away can make such a difference. A change is as good as a rest, or so they say.

The Glass is Half Full (of BS)

"You're so positive! You really have a bright outlook on things!"

So say coworkers and acquaintances, but it's not something I ever really considered to be one of my defining personality traits. Sarcastic, judgmental, with a tendency to complain-- yes, yes, and (according to my mother) yes. But positive, glass-is-half-full gal? Is that really me?

Well, yes and no. Living in a foreign country is a lot harder than you'd expect. Things that should be easy are difficult, every little chore seems a bit more exhausting, and it's easy to begin to feel beaten down and victimized. When your class is canceled, or a taxi driver won't stop for you, or the store stops carrying that familiar brand from home, it's so easy to take it personally, to feel that your school or the country or even the world is against you.

It's like a big muddy snowball of negativity. You start it rolling, and by the end of the day, it's collected up every tiny bad thing that happened. By the end of the month, you don't have any space for good things because you've got this huge dirty snowball to roll around. It even starts to taint the good things that happen. If your coworker gives you a cookie, you're just annoyed because you're trying to stick to your diet. Instead of noticing how hard your students are trying in class, you only notice how noisy they are.

In truth, my positive outlook is a big lie. It's a lie I tell to myself because I have to, and a lie I tell to other people because I want to. The way I see it, your life is just a story, and you can decide what kind of story it's going to be, to some extent at least.

Lately, I've been thinking quite a lot about stories; the stories we love, the stories we tell to others, and the stories we tell to ourselves, and how they shape reality. I've always loved stories, and I'm pretty sure that's why I learned to read so quickly. The ability to find all the stories I want? Without having to convince my mom or dad to tell them to me? It was perfection. No matter where we get our stories, though, be it from books, movies, television, video games, what have you, it's undeniable that they shape us. From the way we fall in love to the way we react to failures or challenges, it all comes back to stories.

For example, at my last apartment, there were a lot of "quirks" that came with the place. I had to enter the apartment through the back courtyard of the restaurant on the ground floor. My landlords owned a skittish dog who didn't take well to visitors. My washing machine was constantly broken, to the point where I decided to just give up and hand wash all my clothes. After telling a story about the washing machine, and mentioning that it's actually quite relaxing to hand wash clothes, and better for the clothes besides, a friend was amazed by how positively I reacted to the situation, even though to him it sounded really annoying.

That's an example of a lie I tell myself because I have to. Why do I have to? There are inevitably annoying and difficult things in your life, and if you just see them as annoying and difficult, that's all they will be. If you tell yourself they're heavy, they will get heavier. But if I tell myself that hand washing is relaxing, it's easier to bear. If I tell myself that my hardships are entertaining, I can ignore them more easily.

Even so, I'm not actually a very positive person. I react poorly to failure, to criticism, to difficulties; I'm lazy, impatient, and prone to giving up. I often only do nice things in order to get favors in return. I'm selfish. Pretty nice picture, huh?

However, I've decided that that's not the kind of person I want to be. I want to be generous, kind, responsible, able to find the silver lining in any situation. So, when I'm faced with a situation that I find annoying or difficult, I force myself to find the good in it. It's difficult, because my go-to reaction is usually more of the "bitch/moan/complain/feel sorry for myself/give up" variety. When I want to do the lazy thing, like let the next person to use the copy machine refill the paper, I force myself to go downstairs and get more paper, because that's the kind of person I want to be.

The funny thing is, the more you act like the kind of person you want to be, the more you seem to become that person. Eventually, if you keep forcing yourself to look at the positive side of things, you pretty much just are the person who sees the positive side of things, even if inside you know that it's a bunch of lies.